Since December 1st I feel as if my life has just been checking tasks off on a list:
- Buy presents (a whole month long process)
- Get Groceries X 30 times
- Order Christmas Cards
- Put Christmas Decorations up
- Put Christmas Decorations down
- Clean House X 187 times
- Take care of sick kids X 3
- Take sick kids to doctor X 3
- Organize Closet
- Get dog a hair cut
- Vacuum X 26
- Clean Bathrooms X 21
I think you get my point.
Sometimes life can get so monotonous and routine that we can lose our spark, our excitement, our drive…..
And I think we all probably feel this way from time to time.
I do the same things every day. Wake up. Put socks on because my feet are usually freezing. Wake up Jayde for school. Get her ready for school. Tell her to get dressed 7 times. Tell her to hurry 3 times. Comb through her curly hair as she usually screams as if I’m pulling her hair out. Tell her to stop screaming. Get Aubree chocolate milk, sometimes strawberry. Make coffee. Drink coffee. Give Jayde a hug and tell her I love her. Look at how big she has gotten and wish time would slow down. Jayde leaves for school. Make Aubree toast. Feed Brielle baby food. Warm up cold, half-full cup of coffee. Do my devotional. Maybe attempt to get ready if Brielle and Aubree let me. Get dressed. Brush teeth. Warm up cold, half-full cup of coffee again. Put makeup on. If I’m really feeling up to it fix hair. Put Brielle down for a nap(if she will nap). Warm up cold, half-full cup of coffee again. Get Aubree ready for the day. Unload dishwasher. Do dishes. Clean up breakfast. Give up on the coffee and throw the cold liquid down the sink. Wipe off crumbs from toast on counters. Brielle wakes up. Get Brielle dressed. Feed Brielle a bottle. Watch ‘Price is Right’ with Aubree while feeding Brielle a bottle. Lunch time. Rummage through pantry and fridge trying to figure out what to make for lunch…. I have bread, jelly, pickles, stale cheetos…hmmmm…… Aubree and I eat something. Clean up lunch. Pick up crying Brielle. Pick up living room. Make bed. Pick up toys in my bedroom. Play with Aubree. Wish I had more time to just play with Aubree. Nap time for Aubree. Read Aubree a book. Tell her sweet dreams jelly-bean. Brielle wont nap. Hold Brielle. Try to get stuff done. Give up and sit on couch with Brielle. Brielle wants me to stand. Stand while holding Brielle. Watch Bold and Beautiful. Put Brielle down, give her toys and try to do a load of laundry. Realize a load I did 2 days ago is still in the dryer. Press steam refresh. Fifteen minutes later fold laundry from 2 days ago. Brielle is tired. Give Brielle a bottle, rock her and lay her down. Look at clock and I have 45 minutes until I must wake girls up to go pick up Jayde from school. Bust my butt and get as much done as possible. 45 minutes comes 2 hours too soon. Wake up girls. Aubree cries. I want to cry. Wake up Brielle. So sorry Brielle. Get Aubree’s shoes on. Get kids in car. Drive to get Jayde. Wait in the car pick up line for Jayde. I actually enjoy this time. Aubree tells me she’s thirsty. I didn’t bring anything to drink. Aubree gets mad. Get Jayde. Ask her what she did at school. She replies, ” I don’t remember”. I ask Jayde what she learned. She replies, “I don’t know”. Get home. Get kids out of car. Jayde shows me her papers she brought home from school. I tell her she is so smart. Girls want a snack. Brielle wants held. Girls eat snack. Brielle gets a bottle. Girls start fighting. Tell girls to stop fighting. Go in girls’ room. Bad idea. Room is littered with toys and books. Walk out of room. Clean up snack. Don’t know what to do between 3:30 and 4:30. Think to myself, “What a stupid time of day”. Remember I have to feed my family supper. Remember I still have wet clothes in my washer. Rummage through my pantry and fridge. Tacos it is. Make food. Brielle gets cranky. Husband gets home. Husband takes a shower. Finish making Supper. Try to feed Brielle while I’m making Supper. Set table. Tell girls to quit fighting. Clean up the living room. Sit down to eat Supper with family. After 4.56 minutes girls say they want to get down and are full. Husband and I argue with girls for 11.342 minutes to eat their food. Brielle starts crying. Shove tacos into my mouth. Supper is over. Clean up mess. Brielle wants held. Husband holds Brielle. Give girls a bath. Think to myself, “I should clean up the bathroom” but can’t muster up enough energy to do it. Girls put on pajamas. Brielle gets pajamas on. Sit down on couch for 13.4567 minutes. Remember there are wet clothes in the washer. Throw them in the dryer. Time to get ready for bed. Girls brush teeth. Toothpaste gets on pajamas, sink and cabinet. Girls each pick out a book. Read books. Jayde gets mad because she doesn’t have enough pillows. Give Jayde another pillow. Tell girls goodnight and I love them and sweet dreams jellybeans. Get up to leave. Jayde has to go to the bathroom. Aubree has to go to the bathroom too. Both girls are thirsty. Get girls a cup of water. Tell them to go to bed. Husband got baby to sleep. Clean up living room, dining room and kitchen. Take a shower. Put on pajamas. Make bottles for the night. Pack Jayde’s lunch for the next day. Maybe watch a tv show with the husband. Get on Facebook. Get on Pinterest. Decide I want to start a garden in the Spring and plant vegetables and herbs. Decide to re-decorate our master bedroom. Decide I’m going to lost 15 pounds. Decide I want a new hair style. Decide I’m going to do a better job of cleaning my house and Pin 5 different cleaning lists. Husband goes to bed. Brush my teeth. Turn off the tv. Turn off the lights. Check thermostat. Make sure all doors are locked. Check on sleeping girls. Take socks off because I can’t stand sleeping in socks. Go to sleep. Wake up 2.3 hours later to baby crying and feed her a bottle. Baby goes back to sleep. So do I. Wake up maybe again with crying baby. Baby goes back to sleep. So do I. Alarm clock goes off. Press snooze. Goes off again. Press snooze again. Goes off again. Drag myself out of bed and put on my socks because my feet are usually freezing.
If you got through this whole thing props to you. I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me or to say my life is terrible and boring.
No, I am blessed with an amazing life. An amazing life that I wanted. I wanted those 3 little beautiful girls. Those 3 little girls who take up so much of my time. Who constantly need me. I feel blessed.
But just because I feel blessed doesn’t mean that it’s not hard sometimes. It doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle some days or feel like I’m going to lose it if I hear, “More milk Mom”, one more time.
It doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes feel like my life is monotonous and I get tired of doing the same things day in and day out.
Being a Mom and Dad is hard. It’s not for the weary. It’s not for the weak. If you get the privilege to be a Mom or Dad it is the most important job that you could ever have on this earth.
God entrusted to you these tiny beings who need you. And that’s not a task I take lightly.
So even though this week has been hard, even though I have 357 things on my to-do list and I will probably only get 11 things done the next few days, I know that I am blessed. And that’s what I try to remember on those hard days; on those days when you feel like falling face first into a pillow on your bed and sleeping for 48 hours and having no one talk to your or need anything from you. Because I know I’m not the only one who every once in a while feels like doing that……right?
I am blessed and right now my purpose on this Earth is to stay at home and raise these 3 little girls. And I recently came to the realization that that is ok. I don’t need to have a job outside of the home to feel like I’m contributing or feel like I’m worthy. Even though some people might not get the whole, “stay at home mom thing”, I get it and God gets it. And this is what God wants me to do right now. And I can’t wait for tomorrow… to put on my socks, comb through Jayde’s curly hair as she squirms and squeals, and warm up my cup of coffee 3 to 4 times. Thank God for microwaves.